Hiya my awesome people, how are y'all doing? Before I forget, want to wish you a very beautiful new month of June. May this month be filled with things to jubilate about. This post should have been published few days back, but all the same I'm glad I am doing this now cause part of the reason why you get to read this post would be shared in the principle that I have applied over few months now and the results have been simply amazing. Forgive me eh, I know I was supposed to use a personal photo but I found this photo I took yesterday at the stage play in MUSON Centre quite intriguing and that's why I decided to use it. They say, a picture speaks a thousand words. ''It didn't matter who was in front of us, we were more focused on what we wanted to give attention to.'' 'I think a lady beside us, was trying to tell us something' The point is if you want to say YES to the life of your dreams, it requires extreme focus. Your focus in life determines what you give your attention to. Anything you don't focus on can never grow. Thanks to my amazing friend Somotochukwu for the free ticket. Back to the juice of the story, I'll share with you what I call CONFRONTATIONAL FOCUS, it's the simplest way to improving any area of your life.
As you go along life's journey, when you notice that any part of your life is not working or you're not getting the results you want to, or you're facing a recurrent challenge, never take a decision to neglect that challenge but make a decision to face it. Anything you neglect would most times go bad or grow worse. This principle of confrontational focus inspires focused attention and determined effort to a particular thing per time in order to get your desired result. I remember buying a biro one time, and I noticed that all of a sudden the tip became loosed and it was a little uncomfortable writing with the biro. The cover was always on top so I didn't bother to check it. In my mind, I was like this biro is obviously not good. It came to a point where I was greatly dissatisfied and I decided to take charge and solve this problem once and for all. And I removed the cover and checked and realized that the connecting screw gap was loose and all I needed to do was screw it so it becomes tight and yea..that was it, coming to a place of confrontational focus and concentrated release of energy on a particular thing.
My big announcement to you is that don't expect everything to go according to plan, don't also expect that when you get married, start that business or go into ministry or take that huge step, you would not face challenges; you sure will but the big difference would be how you handle that challenge, you can have a right perspective so that the problem leaves you better and not bitter. So the first thing, I want you to know is don't think it's strange when you're faced with diverse things that you didn't bargain for because according to the divine plan, you have already overcome. You're supposed to be a problem solver anyways., that's how value is created and that's how growth occurs. The challenge some people have is that they try to solve a predicament instead of a problem. The difference is that a problem is solvable and you can do something about it cause you have control over it but a predicament, you don't have control over it and you're not in the position to solve it. If you try to, you would end up being frustrated, because it can only be coped with. So I have been having network challenges with my GLO line for some days, I couldn't call out or go online and it was really frustrating. I'm glad that this was a problem and I could do something about it. For few days, I just complained about the issue and tried to fix it the way I could but on Sunday, I had to really pray about it and God reminded me of the principle of confrontational focus. Here is what I did:
This may sound quite usual but if you're serious about saying yes to your dreams, this principle should travel with you as you take steps to fulfill destiny. Take a good look at your life right now, is there any area of your life; personal, spiritual, financial, academics, marital or business life or even your relationships, that you're having challenges with; then it's time to face it one at a time. Don't be in a habit of overlooking or neglecting problems but learn to face those problems, if you want total victory. John Foster was right when he said 'The measure of success is not weather you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year' What you think about a problem and how you feel about a problem determines what you do about the problem and all this is dependent on your own personal choice. Some of you are living your yesterday and living last year because the things you should have dealt with from your past have been left unattended to and neglected and they are taking a stroll with you into your future to hold you back from fulfilling destiny or moving to your next level in your personal life, spiritual, career or marital life. This is the time to take a stand and face those challenges no matter how little they are and don't stop confronting it with knowledgeable focus until the challenge is solved cause you can only conquer what you confront. Wish you the best on your path to destiny. Gracias.a Dios.
Hiya, how are you doing out there? So excited to know you're back again on the blog. Guess you watched out for the post yesterday. Apologies, was so so busy so had to postpone posting to today. Oh yeah! this is the third out of four of the Saying Yes to the life of your dreams series. Today I'll be sharing one important principle I use in most of my relationships. Some people I have met over time have paved a way and have been instrumental to my success and have helped me along my journey. I want to say a big thanks to all of them. Some I have learnt from, while some have been my lesson.
If you're reading this post and you really want to say yes to the life of your dreams, then you have to intentionally increase your network. If the same people you know last year or last month are the same people you know now, there hasn't been any addition or multiplication of your network, then you really need to wake up. You must constantly be in the business of meeting great people and connecting with them as well as building quality relationships with these people.
The secret of connecting with great people is not to present yourself as a liability but an asset. Your first contact with them shouldn't be always about seeking for a favour, collecting their numbers to ask them for money later on or just being parasitic. Trust me, these people are very busy. If you want to gain their attention, present yourself to them as an asset, present a value proposition that benefits them first before seeking to get them involved in your business.
This is all dependent on what you hope to achieve or the reason for the relationship you intend to build with them. This may differ, if you're meeting your pastor for counselling or approaching someone for mentoring or coaching. In all, it starts with being someone that has a reputation for something positive and invaluable which could be your contributions to society or your professional reputation. Great people connect with other great people who have a defined identity and are respectful and humble in the way they present themselves. In the words of Mike Murdock, you should pay any price to be in the midst of extraordinary people. You become more like the people that you surround yourself with. So if you want to be wealthy, make friends with wealthy people. If you want to be influential, surround yourself with influential people.
Talking about relationship, as you travel along life's road. You would meet three kinds of people, people at your level, people above your level and those below your level. It's essential that you find a balance to connect with these three kinds of people. With the first set, you can sharpen each other to be more. With those above your level, you can learn from them and most times if you're lucky, they would hold your hands and lift you up to their level. For those below you, you shouldn't look down on them but do unto others as you want them to do unto you. Lend a helping hand and help them go higher if you have the capacity to do so.
I remember few years ago I made a mistake with a relationship I so valued. I had to go the extra mile to ensure the relationship was restored because I valued the person as a mentor and a father. The reward of the relationship was greater than the cost of losing the person in my life. You would agree with me that some relationships are worth keeping for a life time. When I look back, I am also grateful for some relationships I lost because the cost of the relationship was greater then the reward and I am happy that I took responsibility for my life and happiness to leave those relationships (friendship and marital). For me personally especially when it comes to marital relationship; I learnt to weigh the cost of being in the relationship. If the cost is greater than the reward, I'm so out. My principle on relationship is gotten from the Bible in Luke 18:28-34. I know following Jesus may be costly, but it is worth it, because the reward of giving my life to Christ and living wholly for Him is greater than any cost I can imagine. If you don't have a relationship with Christ, you're really missing. This is your opportunity to make right your relationship with Him before it's too late. Stay blessed always and be courageous enough to let go of relationships that kill instead of build.
Welcome to the second piece of the blog series this week on Saying Yes to the life of your dreams. Crutches is one of the many things I have learnt to do away with whilst saying yes to the life of my dreams. You know how when you have a broken leg and they usually would give you crutches to aid your movement until the leg finally heals. Some people get to wear those crutches longer than usual because they get too comfortable with them and also they enjoy the attention that using the crutches affords them.
My own definition of crutches are things in your life that give you a sense of validation but some how bring you the greatest limitations. When I look back at my life, I have had manifestations of crutches represented through people, through friends, family, advice, opinion and so on. These things may seem good and come from a heart with good intention but sometimes, if we decide to take up those crutches, we won't find our own true path in life or have the courage to leave our safe zone or find our true selves or discover our deep calling or experience more from life or even take the bold steps that would lead us to the best things God has put on our path.
I got my first car after my studies in University of Lagos, a car I had imagined whilst I was in school and some how it happened that I got the same exact model and colour I always wanted. I was still trying to perfect my driving skills, so I didn't drive far from my house, and when I had to drive very far, I would hire a driver to take me around. When I cam back from the UK, the car was replaced but this time, I wanted a blue colour so I sent it to my mechanic for him to respray to the exact blue colour I wanted. He changed it from white to blue. My parents didn't want me to drive the car cause I was on the Island and they felt Lagos was really rough. So I had to take bike to and from my estate to get to the major road, walk under the sun most times and also take a bus when I had a car at home. I know they cared for my safety and wanted to protect me and I really admire my parents for being there for me and always showing they care. I do appreciate that in a million ways I cannot describe.
The day, the car was supposed to be sprayed, my brother's driver had to take it all the way to the mainland to his former mechanic. My plan was to spray the car, dedicate it and get a friend to drive it down for me from the mainland to the Island as I was advised to do that. That Sunday, a wonderful friend of mine decided to park his own car and drive me down to my house. As he joined me up in Unilag gate; I clearly remember, he said to me, ''Onyi you can drive now... you can do this, you can drive from the mainland to the Island, I'll guide you''. I heard a still small voice support him ''you can do this, give it a try'. I also remembered that I was told not to drive the car down no matter what but to get a friend to drive it down. I made up my mind right then, 'why would I do this to myself..why would I have a car and not be able to drive it because of the care fears of someone else'. I remember my friend, Isaac sitting beside me and guiding me as I drove all the way. The trust he had in me and confidence is something I would forever be grateful for. As I got to my street after driving through the third mainland bridge and Lekki Epe express way, I could not be more than grateful for finally letting go of the crutches and most importantly for daring to do something that was outside my safe zone. Of course, when I got home, my brother couldn't believe I drove all the way. He was upset that someone didn't drive the car down but also amazed that his little sister could drive all the way on her own.
Sometimes, you've got to let those crutches go, you can't take them in your journey to saying yes to your dreams. Your crutches may represent some other things in your life, only you know those things but I'll like you to be courageous enough to fight for what you believe in and take responsibility for your life.
I dedicate this piece to a true friend Isaac Oladipupo, you're an amazing person and when I drive around Lagos, sometimes I remember you and I am full of gratitude because you believed in me and helped me say yes to the life of my dreams.
Yeah! I've always wanted to visit Italy. So when I had the opportunity to join the impact team to Italy, I was more than excited. It was a tough call cause I had exams during that period, It meant that I would have to stay in Italy for few days and get back to UK a day before to write that course, which was the last course, whilst others continued to another city. But I had made up my mind. Of course I had people telling me 'why would you want to take that risk'. Trust me I had a text book that I had to read that I hadn't even opened cause I just purchased it few days before the trip. But I had read during the summer holiday, so I just had to revise. Of course, I had to leave the crutches this time around and going to Italy was one experience I would never forget till today. From stopping over in Rome, to visiting one of the oldest churches in the world, leading young girls to Christ, a lovely time at the hotel in Naples and being with the most amazing people so passionate for Christ...It was so much fun and overly peaceful in Italy with so much adventure..I even remember, yea! not sure how our boxes got lost in transit and we had to wait a full day for them to send our boxes to the hotel. It was an unforgettable experience indeed. lol! Glory to God! experiencia de vida.
Hallos my people, wishing you all a very happy new month. This week on the Saying yes to your dreams blog series, I would be sharing with you one of the most outstanding principles I have used in my life on my journey to saying YES to God's dreams for me.
You know when as a little girl, you have dreams of being a great person and doing something worthwhile with your life. As a child, I remember always dreaming big and I had this picture of being a business woman and coming home with a suitcase and entering the kitchen to cook and my hubby and kids embracing me...having all the nice things that makes life comfortable.
Fast forward to today, over time, I have realized that most of the things I now have or I am doing, not all though, were things I had seen in my Spirit or I had imagined consciously and consistently thought about. What you think about, you bring about and how you think about your life is very important as it determines to a large extent who you eventually become. I have proof from the word of God, "As a man thinks in his heart so is he' Proverbs 23:7 . I believe God gives us permission to imagine and create the kind of lives we want to live with our mind. Maybe not all would come to pass but if it's line with His will for your life, It would surely come to pass. But what you do when you use your imagination is that you are exposed to the beauty of possibilities of an amazing life. You place a demand on God to do exceedingly beyond what you have thought or imagined and you receive the gift of a life well lived.
The possibility of your dreams ever happening, starts with your thoughts and overtime it has an effect on your life which produces result. As you think (see with your mind) so you are. It's up to you to retrace your thoughts and consistently imagine the life you want to live, the places you want to go, the legacy you want to leave behind, how you want to contribute to lives and God's kingdom. Focus on what you want in your life, not what you don't want. The more you imagine, the higher the chances of it coming to realization. Of course, there is more that you should do but this is your starting point.
I have always wanted to go to Business School and have held this thought for a really long time. Few years back, I got into University of Reading for my Masters and didn't realize that my dream had come to pass. As I attended my first class for the session, I realized that I walked into a building that had Henley Business School written on it. I was like wow! is this really happening...I had walked into my dreams without even realizing it. I think when I got back to my house later on, I held a praise party.
Okay, another instance. I always wanted to know more about the retail industry and work in a fast moving and consumer goods company. My desire was to get a job in GSK or Unilever, but I got a job in a real estate finance company and after few months, I was transferred into another division of the company which happen to be involved in selling and distributing for our parent company in Poland, an FMCG company. Few months after enjoying myself at work, learning about the business; one day, while I was meditating, I realized this dream of mine had come to pass and that I was unconsciously living this dream and I didn't know because it didn't come in the direct way I had expected. As I write this in my office, lovely place with a nice ambiance, I cannot but thank God that He has been too good to me and I am grateful for the gift of the ability to think and create the life of my dreams according to His will, against all odds.
You too, can say yes to the life of your dreams by imagining the life God wants you to live, using your mind and creative powers just like God did when He created the heaven and the earth and brought form to the earth through His imagination. Hold those thoughts, hold those dreams, they are coming to pass. Don't give up on God's dreams for you, even if it's taking longer than expected. Vive tu sueño.
About the Author
Onyinye Etoniru is an author, lover of God and entrepreneur. She teaches life and home management from God's perspective. True Lessons With Onyinye is a mixture of true inspiration, true stories and true lessons on #WealthMatters #LifeMatters #SoulMatters #BusinessMatters #HomeMatters.
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